If there is anyone out there who has seen the film TEN, they will know what I mean when I say, I feel like Dudley Moore when he finally arrives at his hotel.
He has just left sanity behind, (in the form of Julie Andrews), he has embarked on a mid life crisis with such aplomb that he boards a plane to Mexico, takes a taxi to a 6 star hotel, gets in a golf buggy courtesy of the 6 star hotel, which drops him off at his room, by which time he cannot walk because he has a mouthful of recent root canal surgery and is as high as a Burmese bee on tranquilisers and whisky, so the bellboy carries him and leans him against the wall of his room, of which he slides slowly down, still holding his complimentary Pineapple Pina Colada, bell boy leaves at this point there is not much more he can do, Dudley passes out in his sunglasses, sweating like an athlete, wondering how.....
He embarked on an odyssey to find Bo Derek, who he spotted back home, whilst driving, which leads him to crash into a police car and then he continues to follow her to her wedding, during which a bee from the flowers at the back of the Church flys up his nose and stings him. He thinks he has found his 10, his Holy Grail, the enigmatic muse who happens to built like a blonde thoroughbred and owns a white swimming costume. So he goes all the way to Mexico, ends up saving 10's husband after he passes out on a lilo in the sun and drifts out to sea, suddenly Dudley is with 10 alone, in his room, being offered a joint, some casual sex, to the drums of ...Bolero.
It doesn't quite turn out how he had imagined.
This is the beginning of my TEN. And I will now pass out.
